Do we spend a lot of time in relationships trying to make them work? Actually, that is probably a sweeping question because maybe not everyone does that. Maybe some people have got their relationships completely in balance and worked out? What I have realised is that people spend a lot of time working on their relationships but little time working on themselves. We seem to either endeavour to fix things externally or blame external factors for our problems and both of these will become endless and fruitless tasks.
When you work on yourself your energy changes and when your energy changes it has a knock on affect on absolutely everything in your life. Painful things may come up, during this process, however that is okay because during the process of letting go you become lighter, happier, more free, liberated and abundant. This is better than burying and holding on to the pain and heaviness as this can manifest into illness or addictive behaviour, bi-products of negative and painful emotions and thoughts that have not been processed and released.
Loving, nurturing and working on yourself are ongoing processes because you are clearing a lifetime or indeed lifetimes, if you believe in Samsara (reincarnation), of programming, negative events and influences, both internally and externally, however the rewards are immense, if you take time to love yourself in a pure non-egotistical way.
It seems that in many relationships we spend a lot of time trying to make the other person happy, doing things to please, sometimes even compromising our own lives in the pursuit of that happy ever after, or to encourage a partner, parent, sibling, friend to love us. I am not saying that pleasing someone should never happen however we do need to spend an appropriate amount of time on nurturing our own souls.
I once listened to an interview with a Buddhist monk, who I felt hit the nail on the head. She said that true love was loving someone enough to let them go. You have to really love and be comfortable with yourself to be able to do that. I interpreted this as not just letting them go completely but also loving them enough to let them be themselves, follow their own path, whether you perceive that to be good or bad. Our lives are a beautiful voyage of trials and tribulations and we should be allowed to make our own 'mistakes' in order that we learn and discover our truth..
I could write about this for a long time, however I will leave you with an affirmation that I created, which has made a difference in my life: and helped with my self love journey:
I love and I am loved
I forgive and I am forgiven
I am worthy, I am worthy of love
I am ENOUGH
Wishing you all a beautiful belated Valentin's Day
Give yourself the gift of your love.
Sending you much peace, joy, love and blessing today and for each day
Sam xx
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